As soon as I close my eyes, I’m on that cliché deserted island. Only it’s just off the coast of Australia. Looking toward the land, the water is my favorite color blue. The tide water hitting my shins is crystal clear. I can see the fish swimming all around me, but they see my legs as foreign so for now they keep their distance.
As I make my way back to the beach, the sand is warm; not hot. It feels therapeutic squishing between my toes. Almost as though I should be paying some sort of pedicurist. I head for the cluster of trees and sit in the shade with a good book. Only… I don’t feel like reading right now. I just want to soak up my surroundings. It’s pure paradise. I’m close enough to the land and can see the utter chaos of everyday life; people in a constant hurry to go where ever it is they’re going, yet far enough away that the sound of waves crashing washes away all the hectic noise.
The grass I’m sitting in is as green as I’ve ever seen it to be. It’s long because no one mows it. The flowers scattered here and there are more than likely weeds, but beautiful nonetheless. I’d love to pick a bunch for my own selfish desire to enjoy their fragrance, but know better than to take their life. I simply walk over and smell them all individually. The sun is bright over the ocean, and very hot I imagine. But I’m blessed to be covered in the shade of the trees.
From a distance I can hear my son belly laughing. He has found himself a starfish and is fascinated with it’s movement. He continues to watch this creature make it’s way beck into the depths of the water, and I am in pure bliss. The love of my life comes up behind me and embraces in me in one of his infamous “Bear Hugs.” We then sit and soak it all in. We are not confined to a room or an office. We have no boundaries telling us we aren’t wanted on this tiny piece of land. It’s just the 3 of us, enjoying the sights and sounds of nature.
Maybe it’s because a trip to Australia is on my Bucket List. Or maybe it’s because my mind is under immense stress at the moment. I can’t answer why this is where my mind took me, but I’d do anything to be there right now. I don’t even know that such a place exists. I’d like to think so. I’d like to think I’ll find it someday. If Brad Pitt can buy an island, why can’t I? Obviously mine would be much smaller in size… but if I could, I’d buy it in a heartbeat. Day by day I watch my son get sucked up in conformity, and every night I have to remind him that he’s an individual. I don’t think either of us would grow tired of the seclusion on this island. I think it would be more beneficial than trying to live in a world where society dictates who we are/aren’t. No electronics, but lots of notebooks and a few of my favorite pens. Maybe some outdoor toys we could play with on the beach. No cell phones interrupting intimate moments and no violent video games “because everyone else has them.”
This is where I imagine myself going in moments of stress and anxiety. It’s MY island. With MY thoughts. It’s protected in such a way that you need written permission to even step foot onto it. Maybe we’ll allow visitors after a few months, but for the time being, we want to be left alone to enjoy our own company, and be conscious parents to this 11 year old boy who has already seen too much evil. We aren’t interested in the 9-5 job, and have no problems living off the land. Maybe I’ll plant a garden; my love will wash our clothes on the beach and my son will be educated through experience instead of a textbook.