When I was 3, I was the innocent little sister with 2 older siblings; the baby of the family. At 6, I was the annoying little sister who learned how to manipulate my older siblings to get what I wanted (which was mainly just to hang out with them). At 14 I went out into the dating world as naïve as naïve could be. Unfortunately, I took every boy/man at their word. I believed them at face value. But when the door closed and we were left alone, I had horrible things happen to me. It was those horrible things that turned me into an angry, bitter, resentful person, looking to get revenge for any wrong doing against me.
I don’t know what triggered me to expel this nasty person from my body and mind, but she’s no longer there, and I’m forever grateful. Through reading, and self educating, I’m now a very happy single mom to an 11 year old boy. We practice the teachings of Buddhism (kindness) daily. We do good, and have witnessed for ourselves that good things come back to us.
The school year is almost over for my son. We are going to spend summer vacation raising awareness for a disease that up until recently, I had no clue even existed. There is currently no cure, but hopefully through our efforts and the efforts of others, we can change this.
I absolutely love the person I have become. With the continuous help and support of my parents, that angry bitter self will never take over again. I’m happy. Life is good and only getting better. The person I once was is gone…forever. I cannot express enough gratitude for this. It is so much better to be kind and happy rather than mean and angry.
Out of all the people I have lost in my 35 years, I am most grateful for the loss of my former self.